A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. He drinks the beer and asks the bartender: "What do I owe you?"

The bartender answers: "For you, no charge."

In vino de veritas

“It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.”

- Confessions of an English Opium Eater by Thomas de Quincy, 1856.